Monday, June 2, 2008

Electrical Jokes

here are some jokes about electricity i downloaded to include in my speech.

Discussing the Human Body

Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body.

One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."

Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections."

The last said, "Actually, it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"


What Thomas Edison's Mother might have said to her son

"Of course I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb. Now turn it off and get to bed!"


The Four Engineers

Once there were four engineers traveling in a car.
While they were traveling to their destination the car stalled on them.

The first engineer who was a mechanical engineer said, "don't worry it's probably engine problems. I"ll just pop open the hood and take a look at the motor".

The second engineer, who was an electrical engineer, said, "no, no ,no. it's an electrical problem. Let me look at the fuse box and I'll find the problem".

The third engineer, who was a chemical engineer, said, "its just a problem with the fuel. Flush all of the gas and replace it with new gas and you'll see that the car will be fine."

Then the three engineers looked at the fourth who was a "Microsoft" computer engineer. And his response was... "Why don't we just get out of the car, shut all of the doors, and then open them again and get back in and start it!"


As seen on electrical-base business:

=>On an electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."

=>At the electric company: "We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be."


Tainting the Family Tree

The Smith's were proud of their family tradition. Their ancestors had come to America on the Mayflower. They had included Senators and Wall Street wizards.

They decided to compile a family history, a legacy for their children and grandchildren. They hired a fine author. Only one problem arose - how to handle that great-uncle George, who was executed in the electric chair.

The author said he could handle the story tactfully.

The book appeared. It said "Great-uncle George occupied a chair of applied electronics at an important government institution, was attached to his position by the strongest of ties, and his death came as a great shock."


A Look at Relationships

My partner and I have the secret to making a relationship last.

01. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little wine, some good food and companionship. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

02. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Sydney and mine is in Brisbane.

03. I take my partner everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

04. I asked my partner where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.

05. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

06. She has an electric blender, electric toaster, and electric bread maker. Then she said, "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.

07. My partner told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was, she told me, "In the lake."

08. My partner is on a new diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost weight, but BOY, can she climb a tree now!

09. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.

10. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!"

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